Blue and Red Lights

I knew I wouldn’t be the same

somehow knew it when I saw your face

Denied it when I woke

but at night I dreamed you anyway

I didn’t look for you

I didn’t choose to fall

Love came unbidden

through moments big and small

You made me feel like

I’ve always been exactly as I needed to be

That the beauty hiding in me

was easy for you to see

Unbidden, you settled deep in my soul

But everything changes

Before, alone, I sat in unknowing peace

now alone, no longer whole

Giving up the unasked-for gift

knowing a treasure stolen is lost too soon

Blue light falling over you

red flashing over me

Glimmers of a future fading

while sparks of memory scorch me

I was broken before

I won’t be again

Though it hurts

worse than I imagined

Hope still lives

in this battered chest

That someone might one day

want all of me

and not just the rest

Even knowing how it can’t be

You and I

but never we

If I could choose

I would still choose you